These are the Resolutions

Now that the Super Bowl is over, I can finally look forward to a major holiday in my life and in the life of those I love. In a few hours, I will have completed my 21st full year of life. I have done more than most 21 year olds will hope to do, but there are some things that I so desire in my life that many others I have interacted with have in abundance. I may seem to be cocky, but I have done a lot in my life. There is another side of me that desires to have some things in my life that I lack.

There are three things in my life that I need. I want to be able to love myself above all else. I want to make friends, I want to interact with others. I feel very disconnected with the people around me. I have experienced the greatest loves and the greatest losses throughout my life and that forms the basis of my journey. I want this year to be the year that changes all that. In addition to forming a better life for myself, I want to be able to influence others in a secondary way that benefits the lives of others and I want to be able to love and be loved again.

This resolution to make these things happen in my life; My commitment to reducing the budget and increasing revenue; My commitment to work on my books and to be more involved; My commitment to be more socially available and less shy; My commitment to influence others in a positive way; all of these things are an extension of my resolutions. I do have some people that I want to spend more time with, but I am too shy at this point to do what I need to do. I can do everything that I can to make my life better, but I want to be able to share my life with another. It has been over a year since I have been close to anyone.

For my 22nd year of my life, I hope to accomplish all of these resolutions. For me, the hardest will always remain the fact that I want to be more social. I am at the point to where I feel bad about getting into the lives of others and I don’t know what I want to do and how to do it. I am still not sure how or if I even want to have a relationship again. It is hard, but I think this year will be the year for me. I don’t know who it will be with, but I am more hopeful than ever. In the cycle of life, I am on the upward spiral and I hope to go higher than I ever thought I would.